Happy Birthday

The never ending cycle, one day I am good and the next I am falling apart.

Why does this happen to me?

Why can’t ‘good’ things last?

Why do I have to go through many trials and tests?

When can I just navigate this life with clear answers?

I don’t even have the answer to this and I doubt I will ever get it.

All I can do is continue holding on to the bits of distorted ‘hope’.

That things are aligning to my greatest good.

But, it hurts, especially today.

I am mourning what could have been but wasn’t meant to be.

A future I had built in my head of sharing moments with you and I sharing my moments with you.

A life that I could smell but I couldn’t taste.

This cycle may not end but I know the hurt will fade away.

The trickery of the world and my brain.

It hurts but I know this feeling will fade away.

But, for today I mourn what I thought could have been, as my heart misses you and what I thought we would have been.

Happy Birthday!

Love ♡ Ivy