The never ending cycle, one day I am good and the next I am falling apart.
Why does this happen to me?
Why can’t ‘good’ things last?
Why do I have to go through many trials and tests?
When can I just navigate this life with clear answers?
I don’t even have the answer to this and I doubt I will ever get it.
All I can do is continue holding on to the bits of distorted ‘hope’.
That things are aligning to my greatest good.
But, it hurts, especially today.
I am mourning what could have been but wasn’t meant to be.
A future I had built in my head of sharing moments with you and I sharing my moments with you.
A life that I could smell but I couldn’t taste.
This cycle may not end but I know the hurt will fade away.
The trickery of the world and my brain.
It hurts but I know this feeling will fade away.
But, for today I mourn what I thought could have been, as my heart misses you and what I thought we would have been.
Happy Birthday!
Love ♡ Ivy
