25th November (the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women) to 10th December (Human Rights Day) are important days for women and girls in the world, this is because of the 16 days of activism against gender-based violence. The campaign is important because it calls for the prevention and elimination of violence against women and girls.
Growing up, I did not know the meaning of Gender-Based Violence(GBV), however, the women closest to me were facing it each day. I grew up thinking it was normal and ok for men to beat and insult women because they held power over them — especially in marriages. The women and people around me reinforced my thoughts because the male perpetrators were always protected and their actions were justified with:
“ Men will be men”
“The man is the head and the woman is the neck”
While the victim usually a woman was told:
“Sorry, but that is how men are”
“What did you do to provoke him?”
“Pray for him to change”
“Don’t deny him sex”
Very rarely, did they seek accountability for the male perpetrators, and if they did it was done by the chief or older family members, but this process was only favourable for the man because he would plead; insanity, demonic possession or innocence; only for him to go back and continue his cycle of abuse — with zero accountability. I saw neighbours ignoring the cry of a woman being beaten because to them it was none of their business — so they fell asleep to the screams of a woman in need of help.
As the years went by, I got to learn that this violence against women and girls was not normal and that our cultural and gender stereotypes were playing a huge role in normalising GBV. However, even in my awakening — society was still asleep on protecting women and girls. This is because GBV in women and girls continues to rise each day and the excuses I heard when growing up that protected male abusers were still being used to justify the violence on women.
A good example is the video of the female cashier from Eastmatt Supermarket being physically assaulted by her supervisor. Observing the people closest to her shows how GBV is treated in the country — it is ignored. This is because as she was being physically assaulted the closest people to stop her attacker moved away — making room for the physical assault to continue. A whole minute passed before anyone intervened. In that minute the people around her failed her because they did nothing to stop her attacker. Her attacker who was later arrested only received a suspension from Eastmatt supermarket.
Each day society fails women and girls, when:
- Women are questioned on what they did to provoke violence, rape or murder upon themselves;
- People watch women being abused and opt to remain silent and not help;
- Men are never held accountable for their actions and are allowed back into our spaces to continue their violence.
The 16 days of activism campaign this year will end on 10th December but the fight to end GBV in women and girls will continue until women and girls are protected, helped, heard, saved, believed and most importantly not killed, raped or violated.
